2008: The Good and the Bad

Many of us take a few moments and reflect on the past year and then look forward to what we hope will be a better year. I’ve been thinking all week, what do I think of 2008? I guess I have many reasons to hate this year, and justifiably so. But there are many reasons I like the events of 2008. Let’s recap.

January saw Sydney start karate with Anna. Both girls were half way through 2nd grade and Kindergarten. Anna had sleepovers for 4 of the first 5 weekends. Hayden stopped nursing, finally, and was sleeping in his room. Life was good!

February and March were busy with Hayden's cochlear candidacy at Texas Children's. He and I spent many days downtown over 5 weeks. The decision was to wait another 3 months. At the same time, we were waiting for the change over for Jason's company which was acquired in December. The deal was final in April and he was fortunate to have been kept on.

It was during this time, that I noticed the lump. I dismissed it as nothing, just my body readjusting to not nursing. I was so involved with Hayden’s tests and keeping the girls lives normal with school, that I moved it to the back of my mind. By the beginning of April, I couldn’t ignore it any more. It wasn’t normal. I went to my doctor who wanted me to get an ultrasound and mammogram. The doctor wanted to do a needle biopsy that day. Two days later on May 1, our lives changed. I had breast cancer.

May was a whirlwind of activity. Jason's birthday and our anniversary were anticlimactic. I saw a number of doctors, had lots of imaging done, and started chemo. By the end of May, I was tired, sick and thinking what a summer we were going to have. We were able to celebrate Sydney's birthday and make that special though.

June started with hair loss. The girls got out of school on June 5th and I let them cut my hair short on the 4th. I was doing chemo every 3 weeks, with one sick week and 2 kind of normal weeks. Hayden was finally approved for his implant in the middle of the month.

July was more of the same. Hayden was implanted on July 21st and I was able to be there to help him during a good week. He did great!

August saw a little change with chemo. The worst part was over. I started on 2 different drugs and was just tired. My hair started to grow back, slowly. The girls went back to school and Hayden's implant was turned on. Life was kind of normal.

That continued into September and October. Then Hurricane Ike hit. I don't like hurricanes and don't recommend being in one. We recovered from that. I was volunteering a lot at school and with the PTO. Anna and Sydney started soccer for the first time and had a lot of fun with that. My last chemo was on October 17.

November was another month of change. Jason started a new job with a new company. This was a hard decision to make considering all we'd been through during the year. In the end, with some negotiation, he decided it was a good opportunity. Let's hope so!

December is a month I'd almost like to forget. My mastectomy surgery went well, though it was, and is, still painful at times. I'm doing better each day as are the kids and Jason. More time is needed until I am back to my old self, but it will happen. The kids are doing well and are having as normal a life as we can give them, all things considered.

So, as I'm writing this, I've decided that I don't want to forget lots of things that happened this year. We made a lot of hard decisions for our family that we hope will be good in the end. We discovered a deeper faith in God and that has brought us all closer. We found out that we have the best group of people in the world to call family and friends. And we discovered strengths in ourselves that we didn't fully realize were there.

I could hate this year for so many reasons, but in the end, life is short. I don't have time to dwell on all the bad. From past experience, I know I'll not forget it, but it will be overshadowed by all the great times we had this year.

Many people have commented this year on my positive attitude. I have times that I don't feel great about life, just like everyone else, but really, my life is pretty good. Cancer aside, I'm pretty healthy, I have great kids and a wonderful husband. We're happy and 2008 didn't change that. Let's hope that 2009 holds the same happiness for our family and yours.

Happy New Year!

Merry Christmas!

What a great Christmas! The kids had a great time opening presents. They loved what Santa and all their family sent them. The are still playing hours after opening everything. And the family room has piles of gifts all over. It's wonderful!

I hope that everyone had a joyful day. Being with family and friends is one of the best parts of Christmas.

Christmas Cheer

Jason and I took some friends to Christmas Eve service at Fellowship. We love our church and wanted to share with others. It was a great service and I think our friends enjoyed it. It's one of the few times the girls go with us into the main auditorium. At the end, we sing carols by candlelight and the girls love it. It's a special time to share with them. We'll go again on Wednesday when Jason and the girls volunteer as greeters during two of the service times. Fellowship has grown so much since we moved here. They had 8 services 3 years ago and now have 17 at the 3 campuses. I'm usually in the children's side, but have to skip this year.

For all our friends and family that are forced inside due to weather, cuddle close to your loved ones and remember that Christmas is almost here. Yeah!

Long day

Today, I went in for my Herceptin. Remember, I couldn't get it 3 weeks ago because of an abnormal echo. I reminded the nurse of that and then the 1 1/2 hour journey began. My echo was again showing my EF (can't remember what that stands for) was at 45-50%. Normal is 50-60%. My doctor said I could get it, but at a 20% lower dose. As I was getting my vitals taken, my heart started skipping again. The nurse had to talk to my doctor again. She then was in discussion with the cardiologist. Finally, I was approved for the full dose. The Herceptin can cause heart damage which is why they are very cautious about what the echo is saying.

After all that, Dad and I went to lunch. It was my first time going to a restaurant post-surgery. I felt good, tired, but good. It was nice to be able to talk with him all day. We then went home to relax a little before my next appointment.

I saw my plastic surgeon in the afternoon. After waiting an hour, I finally got in. He took out the 3rd drain and added more fluid to the tissue expanders. I have to wait until Wednesday to get the last drain out and I'll go every 2 weeks to add to the expanders. Adding fluid can be painful, since it is pushing the muscle out. I'm going to try to not take pain meds as long as I can. I don't want to spend the weekend sick again.

Dr. Basu did give me some hopeful news. Since my pathology came back negative for cancer (yippee!!) he thinks I may not need to have radiation. He thinks it needs to go before the review board to make the decision. I'll discuss it more with my oncologist and radiation oncologist in January and February. If I don't have to have radiation, it changes all of 2009 for me. I can do reconstruction sooner, my options are better for reconstruction and I'll also be done with everything sooner. Oh, I hope so, but if I have to do radiation, then that's what I'll do.

Amazingly talented 2 year old

I may be biased because I gave birth to him, but Hayden is the smartest 2 year old. He learned to play my iPod today. He can play the music and listen to the ear buds in his non-implanted ear. I'm really curious to learn when he's older if he can hear anything in the implanted ear. He's supposed to be deaf, but could have some residual hearing. He will truly be the smartest kid when he asks for his own!

Heart update

This isn't the official update, that will come later in the week. I had another echo today to see if my heart has improved. The technician was great. She did my last one and was very cautious today since I just had surgery 11 days ago. I had very little pain or discomfort. My heart rate did improve. Last time I had skipped beats which resulted in an EKG. That wasn't a problem today. So, cross your fingers that we have good news on Friday. I'm not sure what will happen if I can't have the Herceptin. I'll discuss that with my doctor later.

Love my kids!

It's Saturday morning and I have to share: I LOVE MY KIDS! Yep, it's true. They are the best kids anyone can ask for. Hayden hasn't been able to hold on to me for over a week now and he's handled it very well. He'll come into my room and do the "I love you" sign and say "I love you, mama" which is the best thing in the world to hear. The girls also came in asking for paper. I asked what they needed it for. They were writing a Christmas book. They were so excited to share their idea with me. I love their creativity! It would actually be a great idea for a children's book. Anyway, the joy they each had is so intoxicating. I could just hug them forever! Being the mother of these 3 is just the best thing in the world.

Great news!

My general surgeon, Dr. Hubbard, called with great news! He had the pathology back on my tumor and there was no sign of cancer. None! He took out the tumor and 18 lymph nodes and there was no cancer left. I'm so excited!! I don't think this changes the radiation based on the aggressive nature of the cancer and high recurrence rate, but I'm just glad to say I'm cancer free. I'm going to celebrate after the pain and nausea goes away.

Alive!

Well, I survived the surgery. It doesn't always feel like it, though.

Jason and I arrived at the hospital at 6 am on Thursday. I went in around 6:30 to get preped. At 7, Jason came back and we met with the anesthesiologist. He recommended an epidural to help with the pain after surgery. I was all for that! He got started shortly after that. I was up on the table, Jason sitting in front of me and then the worst pain I have felt in a long, long time! I remember crying about how much it hurt. I think I was leaning into the nurse and then nothing. The next thing I remember was being in my room after recovery and Jason was there. I really don't remember much of that either. The anesthesiologist said my reaction was normal and meant that the drugs were working. Both doctors said everything went well. All in all, a success!

Jason and Adriaan have been doing a great job taking care of things around the house. The kids look good too. I'm pleased by how everyone has worked together. It's helped with my healing.

I've got pain meds, anti-nausea meds, and an antibiotic to take for the next week. There are drainage bags that Jason helps me with. I won't get into too much details, but I really feel icky and hate that I have to have Jason help me. He's been wonderful though. He's definitely outside his comfort zone, but is my hero for all he's doing.

The kids have adjusted as well as can be expected. The girls understand they can't hug me, but we have been able to spend a little time together. Hayden is leaving me alone altogether. He seems to know that I'm not able to hold him and be with him the way I did before. It's hard to see him like that, but it's for the best. We had a nice night last night watching A Charlie Brown Christmas. I hope to have more of those as I heal.

Twelve Hours and counting

I have just over twelve hours before my surgery. I wrote out this list of things to do on Sunday and have crossed off so little of it. I feel unprepared and anxious about tomorrow. Hayden has an ear infection and has been running a fever off and on since Saturday afternoon. He spent most of the day in my arms. It was nice to cuddle with him knowing that I won't be able to for a while. While I wish that I could have gotten more done, clearly, my time was needed elsewhere.

The girls are almost ready for bed, homework is done, clothes will be put out and backpacks ready for tomorrow. I won't be able to get them to school like I usually do. My father-in-law, Adriaan will be doing that. Adriaan and my mom will be in charge of Hayden. I hope he'll be okay.

Jason will take me to the hospital and stay with me until I'm wheeled away. He should be back before the surgery is over and will stay with me in recovery. I still have to make a list of people he needs to email or call when it's over. Thanks to those that will help spread the word for him!

Well, I need to get the kids ready for bed. I have another hour to get some hugs and kisses in before tomorrow. Wish us luck. I really, really need it...

Change of plans

I went in today to have my Herceptin. After I got set up, I asked the nurse if they had my results from the echo and EKG. They weren't in my file so she called the hospital to have them sent over again. After getting them, she talked to one of the other doctors (mine is off this week). Apparently, one part of the function of my heart is operating at a low rate. I don't remember the specifics, but whatever it is, it's only in the 45-50% range. The other doctor doesn't give Herceptin to his patients that come in below 50%, but my doctor has. He didn't want to okay it since he's not seen me before. So, I have to wait until next week to see what we do from here. Most likely, I'll have an echo done again in 2-3 weeks to see if this function has improved, then they'll decide what to do. The last thing they want is to damage my heart, but I need this to get better. Oh what a quandary!

Yesterday, I dropped Hayden off with a friend of mine so I could volunteer with Anna's Thanksgiving feast. On my way, I had a jolt realizing what was happening next week. I talk about my surgery with everyone. My feeling is that if I talk about it, it's not a big deal. It's just something I'm going to do and move on. For whatever reason, it hit me that I'm going in to have a mastectomy and I hate that! I've been doing a lot at school and getting ready for Christmas. I still don't feel sick. People are always saying how good I look and how positive I am. That's how I feel, yet reality isn't to far away. I realize the limitations I'll be under for several weeks. Friends are lining up to help with meals, the kids, laundry and I'm very grateful. But at the same time, I don't like letting go of those things. That's mine to do.

Well, we are going to not think about it to much for the rest of the week. Either today or tomorrow, we are going up to Dallas for Thanksgiving. It will be a nice break. We wish all of you a wonderful Thanksgiving. Eat lots!

Enjoying the Ren Fest

We had a great day. It was cold most of the day, but clear blue skies and low wind. Almost perfect. The kids had a great time playing together and seeing all the sights. We went with our friends Heath, Zuli, and Wes. I couldn't believe that we spent 7 hours there with very little problems with the little ones. Hayden only had a couple of mini meltdowns. It was a great day.

Yippee, Skippee, Hooray...hmm...

I had an exciting fun=filled morning visiting doctors and hospitals today.

First up, I had an ultrasound to see if my tumor shrunk. For those of you who have had ultrasounds while pregnant, you know they do a lot of measurements. This is no different. They move the Doppler around to get the best views and click to get sizes. That's how it has always been for me, except today. The technician can't comment on what they see, only the doctor can. So, my technician moves the Doppler around for about 5 minutes then says the doctor will be in to take a look. Carol, the nurse that counsels patients, came in and I told her "no measurements." We talked for a few more minutes and then the doctor came in and did her thing. She said that there wasn't anything to measure. Yep, that's right, the tumor is nearly gone! She could see the clip that was put in during the needle biopsy to show the place of the tumor, but there wasn't any measurable tumor there. She could see a little spot that was probably remnants, but that was it. How cool is that?!

Now, don't get too excited. This doesn't change anything as far as treatment or surgery. All it means is that chemo and herceptin have/are working. I almost didn't get this done, but I told my oncologist that I needed to have concrete numbers to make myself feel good. And you know what, I feel GREAT!!!

Next was the pre-surgical consult with my surgeon. Everything is still on for 12/4. Surgery is at 7:30 am central time, so be sure to send good karma, energy, prayers, well wishes, etc. my way that day. I'm going to need them. Surgery is about 5 hours with recovery 3-5 days in the hospital. And there will be a lot of pain. I love a doctor that tells it to you straight. No sugar coating here. Luckily, I will also get a lot of "dope" to quote my surgeon. I don't like that to much either, but it's got to be better than pain.

Lastly, I had an echo cardiogram. The herceptin can cause heart problems, so I'll be monitored over the next several months while I'm on that. While they did the echo, the technician asked if I noticed the skipped heart beats. I did. She wanted me to mention this to my oncologist and they would probably do an EKG. After she was done, she suggested calling the doctor and see if they wanted it done now, since I was already at the hospital. They did and so I had that done too. I'll get the results next week. I was told not to worry too much about the skipped beats. A lot of people have them and I may have always had it and not ever had a problem. I think she called them PVS. If you know about this, email me.

So, all in all, I'm doing great. We are going to enjoy this cold front coming through this weekend. Sunday, we all head to the Renaissance Festival 45 minutes north of here. It's the biggest one in Texas and we do big well. It's always fun. I'll post pictures when we get back.

So much to tell you!

I apologize for not updating in some time. Two weeks ago Hayden got a cold and was lovely enough to share with me. Unfortunately, that was at the same time that my white blood cell count was on a natural decline due to my chemo and I got sick myself last week. The part of the white blood cells that actually fight infection was below 1000 which is bad. So, the options were go to the hospital or get a shot, IV antibiotics and finish those in pills for a week. I went with option #2. After a day or 2, I was back up, but more cautious than I have been. I cancelled a couple of school events so I could limit my exposure to germs, but not to worry, I'm back to my normal self.

Halloween was fun. Anna was a green monster bride, Sydney was a cheerleader, and Hayden was a ninja. My friend Odessa and I took the kids to a local shopping center that has trick or treating. There were a lot of families enjoying a great evening and lots of candy. Odessa then took the girls to a friend's neighborhood where the kids got even more candy. All in all, the kids had fun.

This past weekend was just lovely. Anna & Sydney had their last soccer games for the season. Each had a lot of fun and made new friends. They want to play again next season so we will have to see how that works out. They got their first trophies and were quite proud of themselves.

We also celebrated Anna's 9th birthday on Sunday. She and 9 girls had rock star makeovers at Justice Just for Girls. They had a blast. It was the right size party for the right length of time. Her actual birthday was also Election Day. We had a quiet evening. The girls played with a friend in the back yard, we then had a quick dinner, opened presents and had cheesecake for dessert. This is her last year in single digits! My little baby!

Report cards came home yesterday. Both girls made honor roll. We are so proud of how hard they are working at school. They are working just as hard in karate. Anna earned her blue belt and Sydney earned her orange. We are so proud of them.

Hayden, not to be left out, is doing great too. He had a mapping for his implant last week and they did a behavioral booth test. With the implant on, he tested at 20 decibels with voice and almost 60 with tones. Twenty dbs is normal hearing. Tones are harder for little ones to respond too because they aren't interesting. Its harder to turn to a beep or ding. He's very much a 2 year old boy. Today he learned to make the choo choo sound when playing with his trains. Thanks to Miss Jessica, one of his speech therapists, for that. It's so cute seeing him pretend play.

I'll have more to update in the next few weeks. I'll meet with my surgeons again soon for my pre-op visits. Surgery is still on for December 4th. I'll get to enjoy Thanksgiving, take care of a lot of school business, then be down for several weeks. Watch for updates!

Chemo officially over!

Yep, my actual chemotherapy is over as of Friday. I still have 9 months of Herceptin which is administered the same way and place as chemo, but the chemo drugs are done with! Yippee!! My hair is growing back and I'm feeling better. In fact, I've been so busy since my last chemo, that I haven't had time to sit and write since then.

One phase down and now moving to the next: surgery. I have my mastectomy scheduled for December 4th. It's one week after Thanksgiving and as most of you know, that's my favorite holiday. The heal time is 6-8 weeks post surgery, but I'll be home from the hospital after 5 or 6 days. That should give me time to decorate the house and get ready for Christmas and have a few weeks recovery so I can enjoy Christmas with the kids. The hardest part for me will not being able to drive and hold Hayden. I still don't know how that's going to work. We are trying to figure out help for the time I'm down. Jason will be able to take a couple of weeks off, but has to work after that. I have a number of friends waiting in the wings to help with the kids and shopping, etc. I think we will be able to manage some how.

I also have confirmed with my radiation oncologist that I will have radiation. That will start a couple of months after my surgery and will last 7 weeks, going 5 days a week. I should be able to have the Herceptin at the same time. If any of you saw the Lifetime movie last weekend called Living Proof, then you have heard of Herceptin. Apparently, if I had this cancer 15 years ago, I probably wouldn't survive. Herceptin is a drug that stops the growth of the Her2+ gene. My cancer is very aggressive and can spread quickly. Herceptin can stop the growth, but can also reverse it. I'll go in a few weeks to have another ultrasound to see if the tumor has shrunk. I've been told it should shrink a lot. Let's hope!!

In other news, the kids are great. Soccer season is nearing the end. The girls have had a lot of fun playing and making new friends. I never thought I'd enjoy spending my time going to practice and games, but it is a lot of fun. The first quarter of school is almost over and both girls have done a great job. Hayden is a typical 2 year old and is into everything. We have safety covers on all the bathroom doors and a couple of the bedrooms to keep him out of trouble. And if the back doors aren't locked, he often escapes into the yard with the dogs.

Life is good!

Busy Week

Last Sunday was a wonderful day. Our large debris was picked up. Those of us with kids were sitting out and watching the big trucks take trees and brush away. It was pretty neat. Our lawn bags were picked up last week too, so now there is no evidence of Hurricane Ike around our house. Yeah!

Sydney and I were playing around and taking pictures. I let Sydney take a rare picture of me, so enjoy!

Last week was reading week at school. I love this week! The school and PTO really make it a lot of fun with a different theme each day. We also collected food to restock our local food pantry. Here are a few pictures. Anna, Sydney and friend Sarah are with Smokey on Walk to School Day. The girls had Storybook Parade on Friday. Hayden had fun entertaining parents before the parade.

Chemo #7 and soccer

Well, I am almost done! I had my 7th chemo on Friday. It wasn't too bad. I still feel tired and a bit cranky, but not sick. My last one is in mid-October.

The girls had their 1st soccer games on Saturday. Anna is in the 8-9 girls league and her team, The Texas Crushers, won 3-2. Sydney is in the 6-7 girls league and her team, The Shooting Stars, tied 1-1. They each had a lot of fun and ran hard. We are so proud of them!

Hayden was so cute too on Saturday. He played hard too, but had a hard time taking a nap. He actually fell asleep on Daddy. It's been a long time since he's done this.

After Ike

It's been 7 days since Ike hit. The Woodlands is starting to bounce back, but there are so many other places in the Houston metro area that are far from normal. Many communities are still without power, phone and water. A day or 2 without these things is manageable for most, but to go a week and more is just so difficult.

We have power, cable, Internet and phone service now. We never lost our water. The stores and some restaurants are open. Medical facilities outside the hospital are opening. The lines for gas are nearly gone in our area. Even though we have these things, life is still not normal. Schools are still closed with some opening on Monday. There are brush piles everywhere along with downed trees that have yet to be cleared. The reminders will be with us for some time, longer for others who have rebuilding and major repairs to deal with.

The pictures above are our house and street. We loaded 25 lawn bags full of debris and then ran out. The brush pile is very long and high along the driveway.

We have a few friends and neighbors that suffered damage. Others are still without power even now. What's been great is the sense of community. Everyone has been checking on their neighbors. Several have helped remove trees and shrubs. The trees in the picture on the left above are from a neighbor out of town. Their neighbors cleaned the trees out of the street and those good Samaritans had their own damage to deal with. I'm proud of everyone here in Houston!

On our way back from Dallas, I noticed that even in such tragedy Houston's gas prices are still lower than other parts of the state. Dallas gas was $3.69 in most stations while I saw $3.49 to $3.59 here.

Our school opens next week. Sports practice starts up again. Jason is working and we still have medical appointments. Life is moving on just as it should. I hope it happens for all in South East Texas soon.

Interesting "Ike" site

This is an interactive site that you can use to see where Ike's path is predicted to go and how close we are to it: http://abclocal.go.com/ktrk/feature?section=weather/hurricane&id=6381857.

If you start to zoom in and stay north of Houston, you will see the cities of Conroe and Spring. The Woodlands is between these 2 cities. The pink path line is just to the east of us.

I know the media is stating "certain death" for residents that don't flee. Rest assured that we are not one of those. Yes, we are facing a strong hurricane and we will see some kind of damage, but we are not in the low lying areas that are going to get hit with the high storm surge.

I'll keep this updated daily as long as we have power. Wish us luck!

Here comes Ike!

I know many of you are aware that Hurricane Ike is in the Gulf of Mexico and headed our way. Jason left work early today when his office closed for the weekend. The girls' school district is also closed tomorrow. I spent some time in the grocery store with another several hundred of my neighbors taking care of last minute shopping. We've cleared the back yard of all plants, bird feeders and other objects. We also have nearly full gas tanks. I think we are set for this storm.

Several coastal areas are under mandatory evacuation as of this morning. Luckily, we don't have to do that. We are about 80 miles north of Galveston Island. We are expecting all the wind and rain that comes with hurricanes along with a high likelihood of damage, but hopefully we shouldn't have flooding. The local media and authorities are advising areas north of Houston to "hunker down" and that's our plan.

We'll keep everyone posted after the storm passes to let you know that we survived.

Chemo #6 and Echo

I forgot (and how wonderful that I could!) that my sixth chemo was over. It went well. I was able to take the girls to karate that evening and still make it to our 1st PTO meeting on Friday. These ones are so much better than the 1st 4. I have 2 more before I'm done so I think I can function as a normal human being.

My echo results were also good. I'll have those done periodically for the year that I'm on Herceptin. Cross your fingers that everything stays this good!

Reflections

Well, the last few days have been full of ups and downs. First, we left Dallas on Sunday afternoon to be home should Hurricane Gustav hit. We were very fortunate. All we had was a little wind and sprinkles. The girls started their second week of school without any problems. Anna was the first star of the week in her class and Sydney was line leader all week. Hayden has been doing great with his processor. Life is good.

Then I met with the first of 2 plastic surgeons. I met one on Wednesday and the other today. While they each had different thoughts and opinions on my options for reconstruction, both had similar time tables. It looks like I won't be through with this awful situation as soon as I hoped. With radiation still an unknown, but likely, my reconstruction probably won't happen until towards the end of 2009. I'm at least a year away. So, my mood and spirits are a little down right now. I'm not feeling too good about the next year, but I know it will past and I'll go back to my usual good spirited self. Right now, though, I'm taking a little self-indulgence and allowing myself to be blue. And to back me up, my dad says its okay. Thanks, DAD!

I watched the Stand Up To Cancer program tonight on ABC, NBC, and CBS. I hope they raise a lot of money to fight cancer. I know most everyone reading this right now, besides knowing me, knows someone that has been affected by cancer. I have a hard time counting all the family that I loved and lost to many types of cancer. While I watched with my sweet Anna, I was encouraged to think that she, or her siblings or cousins, may find a cure so that future generations don't have to go through this. Please go to http://su2c.standup2cancer.org/ to find out more.

To Dallas & Gustav

We are preparing to drive to Dallas for the weekend to see our dear friends Lance & Heather. We leave soon after the girls get out of school. As we are packing, I'm keeping an eye on TS Gustav. As of now, the projected path leads to Louisiana, but the tracking area covers Houston and we are preparing for that as well. We planned on coming home on Monday, but may have to do that on Sunday. If Gustav becomes a hurricane, comes to Houston, and Houston orders evacuations as it did with Rita, then we won't be able to come home at all. The main freeway, Highway 45, that goes north from Houston to Dallas will become a contraflow freeway. That means they open up all lanes of traffic to go north to accommodate 4 million people leaving the city.

Mom is staying here to watch the house and dogs for us. Should evacuations be needed, I have a friend that will get Mom and the dogs and come to Dallas. While I hate for Louisiana and Mississippi to have more destruction so soon after Katrina, I don't want the storm here either. Wish us luck and everyone have a great, safe weekend!

Firsts

Today was the first day of school for Anna & Sydney. Sydney was teary eyed when we left her in her class, but I know she'll be fine. Her teacher, Miss Branch, was Anna's 1st grade teacher too. Anna was also a little nervous when we left but had her friend Richard sitting next to her in class. She has 2 teachers, Mrs. Valicevic for homeroom and Language Arts and Mrs. Kelley for Math and Science. Both teachers seem really nice. I think this is going to be a great school year.

Hayden had his first mapping session today. This was where he got the external part of the implant, the processor, and it was turned on for the first time. He did great! He kept it on for a good part of the session and has been wearing it since we got home. It's on a very low volume right now, but we are going to try to turn it up several levels before we see the audiologist tomorrow morning. This pictures shows one of the body worn styles. He can also wear this behind the ear when we think he's ready.

Chemo #5 is over

That one wasn't so bad! I actually ate a little bit yesterday and today. I'm not sick, a little tired, but doing okay. I even went shopping this morning with the girls for back to school clothes. If the next 3 treatments are like this, then I think I might actually do okay. Yippee!!!

I have my echo scheduled for 8/29 so wish me luck. Jason is off next week. We plan on cramming in an entire summer of activities into the next week along with some well child check ups and therapy. We end the week with meeting the girls' teachers for next year. It should be a fun week.

Countdown

I'll leave in 2 hours to go to chemo #5. By the end of the day, I'll be closer to the end than the beginning. What a great feeling! I'm very anxious about this one only because I don't know how I'll feel when it's done. I shouldn't be sick, but that is a possible side effect. Most likely, I'll be tired for a few days.

There are 2 drugs that I'll be taking. I'll take Taxotere until October. The other drug I'll take is called Herceptin. I'll continue Herceptin for 12 months with a break for surgery. My tumor is HER2+, which is found in about 25% of breast cancer patients. It is an aggressive tumor that grows and spreads more quickly and requires different treatments. Herceptin is not a chemo drug, but rather a monoclonal antibody. These antibodies are more targeted than chemo and attach directly to the proteins that are increasing the cancer cell production. Only patients that are HER2+ take Herceptin. A big risk is recurrence. Herceptin has been found to lower the chance of cancer coming back versus patients that didn't take it.

One of the serious side effects of Herceptin is heart problems. With heart disease on my mom's side of the family (my grandfather and both great-grandfathers died from heart attacks), I'm following orders closely on this one. I'll have an echo cardiogram scheduled soon to see how my heart is tolerating the drug. My friend Odessa who is also my nutritionist has me on supplements that are supposed to improve heart health. I'm determined that if I can fight cancer, then I can fight the byproducts of the drugs as well. The only thing I can't fight is the hair loss. I thought my hair would start to grow back after this last round, but no. What's another 3 months, right?

Radiation still hasn't been completely ruled out. I need to meet with my radiologist to see what she thinks. She's also the doctor that did my genetics testing. Over the next month or so, I'll also be meeting with plastic surgeons to see the direction I want to go in for surgery. I have many options and, being so young, I have a long life ahead of me. I want to be happy with my decision for years to come.

Tidbits

Today's topics: Hayden's birthday, TS Edouard, our new roof and the alphabet.

First, Hayden turned 2 on Sunday! That's also Grandpa Dean's birthday. (Happy birthday, Dad!) We had a nice day. We decided to take the kids to Chuck E Cheese for lunch which all the kids enjoyed. Hayden actually spent more time eating than running amok, his usual MO. Lunch was followed by a nice nap then his cake and presents. His 2 favorites were the tool set from us and tunnel/tent from the girls.

Next, Tropical Storm Edouard came right through our neck of the woods on Tuesday morning. Everyone spent the day before preparing for the worst, but luckily it wasn't bad at all. We've had worse thunderstorms since living here. There were some downed trees and several thousands of people near the area of landfall lost power, but we just got rain. I'm so glad we live north of Houston and not south. Jason did go into work, but stayed in the local Woodlands office which is about 10-15 minutes away.

Third, we are getting a new roof today. It was supposed to be Wednesday, but Edouard caused a few delays. The house is 18 years old and really needed a new roof. There has been enough hail damage over the years that we easily were able to have the claims adjuster approve everything. The guys started late yesterday and have been working today since 7 am. The house should be done today and the garage tomorrow. This was something that our inspector said needed to be replaced soon and, 2 years later, we are getting it done.

Finally, I've been trying to tape Hayden singing his ABCs for a few weeks now. He doesn't just sing, he belts it out! It's really cute, but we are also trying to get a before and after of him singing. Hopefully, this will sound a lot better once he's activated and has had some speech therapy. I hope you enjoy and I apologize for my singing.

Chemo #4 is over

Finally, I am half way thru my chemo treatments!! Number 4 was bad. I get a shot of Neulasta on day 2 after fluids. This is supposed to support production of white blood cells. A common side-effect is bone pain, which until this weekend, I had not had. Well, that's all I had on Saturday. I was achy, similar to body aches from the flu. It was gone by Sunday, thankfully. I was tired as usual all weekend and then my day 5 delayed nausea hit. I have some special compound medicine for that so I thought everything was okay. By Tuesday, I was up taking care of a few things and was tired, which is normal. Then, Tuesday night, it hit. I was so sick and miserable Tuesday night and Wednesday morning that I ended up going in for fluids on Wednesday. I was still sick when I left, but by last night was doing better. This morning, while still fatigued, I'm not sick and I've been out and about. So, I'm back to where I should be.

One of my trips out today was for another ultrasound. More great news: my tumor is down another 0.6 cm to 2.2 cm. Remember I started at 3.4 cm. So I'm pleased. I think I'll go in again in September after 2 rounds on the new drugs, Herceptin and Taxotere. I'm happy with the progress we're making. Of course, I'd like to see it smaller, but at least we know things are working.

In related news, my oncologist is taking a leave of absence starting August 1st. She'll be out until December, so I'm pretty bummed about that. The doctor taking her place, Dr. Kleinbaum, seems nice. I only talked with him a few minutes, but Dr. Crow is confident he'll take good care of me. Let's hope!

Today, we also took off the steri-strips on Hayden's wound and the incision looks great. A lot of the swelling is down, but the poor kid has a lot of bruising on the right side of his face, including a black eye. You can see the implant under the skin, but it may not be as noticeable once the swelling is gone. He seems to notice the lack of hearing in his right ear, but he's adjusted so nicely. We are proud of our little guy.

Hayden survived!

Of course our little one came through his surgery with flying colors! We got to the hospital a little before 10 am on Monday. He was able to play along with all the other children who were having surgery that day. Despite not having eaten since the night before and having no water for a few hours, Hayden was in great spirits. He played and cuddled all morning.

The surgery was scheduled for noon, but Hayden didn't go into the OR until close to 1 pm. All the doctors came out to talk with us and explain again what was going to happen. He had a great team of doctors and nurses to care for him. The surgery was over at 3:30 and he was taken into recovery. Jason and I waited with him for close to an hour before he woke up. When he finally did, boy was he mad! He didn't like being hooked up to all the wires and iv and he didn't like the big cup he had on his ear. Once I was able to hold him and he could drink some apple juice, he calmed down. After another apple juice, popsicle and water, we all agreed that he would be okay to go home. They had a room ready for him and we prepared to stay the night, but his vitals were great and he was keeping liquids down, so there wasn't much reason to keep him.

Hayden slept off and on during rush hour traffic home, but was never sick, thank goodness! He slept for several more hours at home as well. He did have a rough night, but I think he was much more comfortable at home than he would have been at the hospital. Finally at 5 am, he had some applesauce and was able to go to sleep again.

We were so proud of Hayden. He was such a trooper and dealt with this so much better than either of us would have. He even kept his bandages on all day yesterday. That actually is a good sign that we won't have a lot of trouble keeping his processor on. Activation day is August 25th which is also the first day of school for Anna and Sydney.

The girls stayed with a friend of ours, Julie, who is also an audiologist with Texas Children's. Anna and Sydney are the same ages as her 2 oldest girls and they all go to school together. It was nice to know they were having fun during this whole experience and we didn't have to worry about them.

Now we face a new set of challenges. Hayden is now, essentially, deaf in his right ear. There is a small chance for some residual hearing, but we won't know that until the swelling goes down and his ear heals. Physical and speech therapy will also change some. He'll also have to learn to keep his processor on all day and relearn to listen and understand sound. He's a smart kid and had hearing prior to this so he's already got a head start. Wish us luck!