Change of plans

I went in today to have my Herceptin. After I got set up, I asked the nurse if they had my results from the echo and EKG. They weren't in my file so she called the hospital to have them sent over again. After getting them, she talked to one of the other doctors (mine is off this week). Apparently, one part of the function of my heart is operating at a low rate. I don't remember the specifics, but whatever it is, it's only in the 45-50% range. The other doctor doesn't give Herceptin to his patients that come in below 50%, but my doctor has. He didn't want to okay it since he's not seen me before. So, I have to wait until next week to see what we do from here. Most likely, I'll have an echo done again in 2-3 weeks to see if this function has improved, then they'll decide what to do. The last thing they want is to damage my heart, but I need this to get better. Oh what a quandary!

Yesterday, I dropped Hayden off with a friend of mine so I could volunteer with Anna's Thanksgiving feast. On my way, I had a jolt realizing what was happening next week. I talk about my surgery with everyone. My feeling is that if I talk about it, it's not a big deal. It's just something I'm going to do and move on. For whatever reason, it hit me that I'm going in to have a mastectomy and I hate that! I've been doing a lot at school and getting ready for Christmas. I still don't feel sick. People are always saying how good I look and how positive I am. That's how I feel, yet reality isn't to far away. I realize the limitations I'll be under for several weeks. Friends are lining up to help with meals, the kids, laundry and I'm very grateful. But at the same time, I don't like letting go of those things. That's mine to do.

Well, we are going to not think about it to much for the rest of the week. Either today or tomorrow, we are going up to Dallas for Thanksgiving. It will be a nice break. We wish all of you a wonderful Thanksgiving. Eat lots!