No News is Good Right?

Everything has been pretty quiet recently. Anna and Sydney have been doing great in school and soccer. We've been able to balance school, homework, sports, friends, and relaxation pretty well. They haven't complained at all and are actually having a good time.

I registered Hayden for Mother's Day Out starting next week. He'll go Wednesdays and Fridays for 5 hours a day. I'm so excited!! He'll get to play with other kids his age and I'll be able to do my treatments weekly and know he's in good hands. His school is next door to the girls which is nice. I know he'll go through May, but I may keep him in through the summer. We'll decide later.

The health front is pretty quiet too. I talked to my oncologist's nurse yesterday. I was scheduled to have Herceptin today, but we all agreed not to do it until I see my doctor next week. I'm hoping to get started again soon so I can be done soon. I'm not sure what they will want me to do first: start the Herceptin or do another echo. Either way, I want to get it going. I should be patient and grateful that I do feel so good, but I just want this over.

Here are a couple of pictures of the kids. The one of Hayden has a story behind it. He's been falling asleep in his closet the last 5 nights while holding his Grover. The other night, he was in there all the way. It was too cute.

Oh, what a wonderful day!

Well, it didn't start out wonderful, but it is ending that way. After rain and a longer than needed wait for Comcast to fix our Internet this morning, it is such a beautiful afternoon. It's 80 degrees, sunny with a light breeze, and the kids are out playing with their friends in the yard. We just came back from the park where the kids played soccer and tag. Oh, to be young!

No news on the cancer front. I'll go in to see my oncologist in March and will hopefully resume the Herceptin. I'm trying to remember to take the heart meds with some success. Right now, we are just trying to be a regular family.

The girls started soccer last week. They have the same coaches who we really like. Anna's team is the Black Widows and Sydney's is the Wildcats. The season ends the first week of April. Hayden is enjoying playing in the yard on nice days and would stay out there for hours if I let him.

Here are some pictures from today of the kids. Enjoy.

Sweet kids

I wanted to share a quick sweet moment my children had tonight. Part of Hayden's bedtime routine is to say goodnight to Anna and Sydney. He usually says "night night, Anna" and "I love you, Sydney". He did the usual tonight, but wanted to add hugs. He loves a group hug with his sisters and giving them kisses. It's so sweet. I love to see my little ones show each other how much they love one another.

Surviving a 2 year old

So, for any of you that have had the joy of raising a 2 year old, you know that there really is a lot of joy involved, but there is an equal amount of stress. Today, nay, this week, has been full of stress mixed in with a little joy. Hayden is quickly becoming the divo (is that male for diva?) of the house. Today was a topper.

He doesn't nap anymore. He might once a week, but generally he gets 2 hours in his room, alone. He needs a nap, but I haven't figured out how to actually make him sleep. I had to take the little tyke with me to karate this afternoon. Normally, we are there for 2 hours, but I put Anna in Sydney's class to consolidate our time. Hayden and I went to the park to play while we waited. With the class nearing an end, we had to go back. Hayden didn't like that and proceeded to voice his absolute disgust with me for the next 50 minutes. Yes, nearly an hour of screaming (some of you have heard his shrill voice, you know) and hitting and kicking and the latest, biting. Thankfully, that only happens when he's physically restrained in my arms.

I knew he was tired, but it took forever to get him ready for bed during his temper tantrum. Finally, he was in his pjs and cuddling on our bed. I went to feed Anna and Sydney before their open house tonight. I came back in and there he was, fast a sleep. As I'm writing this, he is still laying as he was 2 hours ago when I put him in his bed.

With karate once a week and soccer starting next week, twice a week, I told Jason that I would have to cancel everything if I have another episode like I did tonight. I just can't do it. I can go through chemo, I can handle a major surgery, but it will be a 2 year old boy with dimples and brown eyes that takes me down. How sad is that?

A Declaration

To make myself accountable for this most recent endeavor, I am announcing it to all my friends and family. I plan to start training this week to do the Breast Cancer 3 Day walk in Dallas in November. This is with the caveat that my doctors okay it and I'm not doing radiation. That said, I am going to start walking on the treadmill and with a couple of friends. I've got a schedule that will hopefully help me get stronger and healthier. So, I'll update on that progress as well as everything else. Here's the site if you want to learn more. There are several walks this year around the country. http://www.the3day.org/site/PageServer.

The HEART of the Matter

I'm sorry, I know, it's silly. I went to the cardiologist today to discuss this heart issue. I have cardiomyopathy as a result of the Herceptin treatments. I was told it was reversible, but it may not be. It depends on a number of factors. My cardiologist put me on Coreg, a beta-blocker, and Lisinopril, an ACE inhibitor. I'll go back in a couple of weeks to check my blood pressure and then again in 3 months for another echo or MUGA. Dr. Kantis says that I will be on these drugs for the duration of my treatment, but will most likely be on them for life. That's a long time when you are only 35.

The good news is that I should be able to resume treatment once my oncologist says it's okay. It's going to be weird not going to the doctor as often as normal over the next 6 weeks. I have to go in to flush my port before then, but it looks like it will be relatively calm on the medical front for me. This is good I guess. Anna and Sydney start soccer practice in a couple of weeks. Now I'll have the strength to keep up with that. See, there is always something positive to everything.

Today was also report card day. Both girls were High Achievers on their report cards. We are so proud of each of them.

I don't like cancer

This is not a surprise, I just want to reiterate that I hate having cancer. I feel great and want this whole entire ordeal put behind me so my family and I can move on.

I posted earlier that I had a MUGA scan on Monday. I got the results at my oncologist visit today. The results and the visit were not good. The MUGA confirmed that my ejection fraction (EF) was 45%. The echos showed the same thing. What this means is that my heart is being affected by the Herceptin. It isn't pumping enough blood out of my left ventricle. As a result, I am now on a break from treatment for at least the next 6 weeks. I see a cardiologist on Friday. The damage caused is reversible so I'm hoping that with some time and treatment from the cardiologist, I'll be able to resume the Herceptin and finish this thing. Once I do resume, it won't be the same as before. I was going every 3 weeks for 90 minutes. I'll now go every week for 30 minutes. The idea is my heart won't have the huge rollercoaster effect each time I go in.

This wasn't the only bad news. Now, I will have to confirm some of this with my radiation oncologist, but my regular oncologist said that I can't do radiation at the same time as the Herceptin. Since my tumor was on the left side, this is where the radiation will be. It can clip the heart which is already weakened. So, if I do still need radiation, I'll have to wait until I'm done with the Herceptin, which may not be until September or October. I'll have radiation some time after that, then I will have to wait 6 months after that to do reconstruction.

My timeline has changed completely now. I was hoping to be done with all of this by the end of the year. Now it looks like it won't be until year from this summer. Ten months changed to eighteen in a very short visit. And all of this could still change more. I just want to be done.